Sanctuary

Society’s a crazy breed. In mine, once you’re married, your husband’s home is your home. He’s your protector. Your parents may have existed an hour ago, but,

once you sign those papers,

once you say ‘I do,’

you’re foreign.

And just like that, I’m foreign to them. I may live with them, I may share their lives, but I’m no longer a sole-being. Another being exists with me and I exist with him. I may be independent, but I’m no longer ‘me.’

Before, any little worry and I used to find my mother’s lap. I knew that if the world left me, I’ll have my family and everything would be like it was before.

I got married and things changed.

I still have my family and I’ll always have them, but my mother’s lap is not going to be enough for me. I know that if the world leaves me, if my husband leaves me, I’ll have my family and nothing would be the same again.

So, I’ll say this much;

Dear Husband,

When things get rough, don’t shut me out. Because when you do, I feel you’ve tied my hands and there’s no way I can reach out to you. That’s my worst fear, making it harder to breath for me. Choking me like somebody knocked the air out of my lungs.

When things get rough, don’t let your ego, take the best of you. You’re so much better than that. Your closed door, is more painful than you saying a thousand words in anger, which you don’t mean. You’re my sanctuary, my safe adobe. I don’t have a place to go to where my worries would be gone. Everything is with you, my good and my bad. My mother’s lap is no more enough for me. After God, I want your shoulder.

When things get rough, don’t shut down. We’re two different people merged into one. We’re new and not so open. Don’t assume, what you don’t know about, what’s not so clear to you. I know you better than you know me.

When things get rough, I cry at times. When your words, your attitude, punches holes through my heart. Why? Because I come with a baggage of my own. Life has taught you much, yet it has to teach me much. I harbor big fears. Will you be there while I overcome my fears?

When things get rough, I don’t for a moment stop loving you.

And that’s the essence of me.

Love,

Your Wife.